The hype engulfed me whole like Anaconda eating Jon Voight.
“Ooh! The posters! The trailers! The actors!” - So swallowed in was I, that we (my most trusted compadre and I) actually paid for the movie.
What movie am I talking about? – get out of your bubble-wrap – Shaitaan.
The first sign of indigestion (in the anaconda-hype) was the very beginning when Anurag Kashyap came onscreen and told us brittle beings - “Drugs are bad for you.”
I finally have a face to put on the great Surgeon General.
So after this hard-hitting ugly truth, the movie begins. And with it the slow and thoroughly unpleasant experience of being regurgitated. And when the hype-anaconda puked me out – I was scarred, for life.
Shaitan, was supposed to be a gripping story about a group of wandering friends and how the devil inside each of them is awakened. Instead, it turned out to be a limp story about a group of friends (?) and how they keep acting like complete nincompoops and getting into deeper shit.
The story is handicapped. In a way that doesn't even use the remaining senses.
Good actors are wasted. Tracks that could have been good are either not paid attention to (the cop and his wife part) or are turned into sawdust (kalki koechlin and her mother's part)
I fail to understand why Kalki Koechlin decided to be in this movie.
I thought she was someone who read the script before she agreed to act in a film.
Blunders – like the characters who are kidnapped according to national news are roaming about as if on a stroll in naana-naani park – don't help.
There are many 2 murders and 1 almost murder because of one person's irritating ways. All of them are “accidents”. You would think that a person who has unwillingly committed a murder will be guilty and more careful about his brute strength.
Or are we not allowed to think at all?
The cinematography is something like you've seen before.
Oh, wait there's actually an Anurag Kashyap stamp on the film!
The stamp is the logo of Anurag Kashyap's production company – called – Anurag Kashyap Productions.
So much for a man of great creativity.
It was a bit silly of me to assume a new film-maker will do something new.
Also, would someone please enlighten me about the 7 rules of friendship that these IDIOTS don't follow? KC the innocent mass murderer says “dosti ke saat usul hotein hain – par hamaara sirf ek hai – No Rules.” (After which he adds another rule as an afterthought - “bharosa...trust”)
A dialogue that has even been used in the promotions? Im pulling my hair out on this one! Seriously, someone tell me!
Even without the knowledge of what those 7 rules entail – I can safely say – abhijeet deshpande (dialogues), stop writing or stop living.
Now, for something unrelated to the film that's been bothering me for ages – the concept of “shaitaan”
Let's unravel this eternal mystery with simple logic, shall we?
With the idea/invention/discovery of something all-powerful, all-good, that controls all of us propped up it's antonym – something all-evil that we have to stay away from.
But according to the theory of god and god-believers, God controls EVERYTHING.
That (again, I say, according to them) is the ultimate TRUTH.
So, by that rationale, Nothing can oppose god's will, right?
Nothing can!
So logically – according to the “God-believer theory” – the “Devil” can be one of two things -
God himself
or
A myth created for those who can't fear God enough to be “good”.
Which could logically lead us to the conclusion that God, too, could be a myth.
Only if the movie could have been brave enough to explore this deduction.
Alas, Evil gods to the left and hyped pathetic movies to the right,
Here I am, Stuck in the Middle with You.
